I know, I know . . . It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted. Although it’s not really an excuse, things have been hectic lately. I thought the pace of life was supposed to wind down a little bit as summer approaches, but apparently not this year.
For months, my kids have begged me (unsuccessfully) to watch the show, “Jon & Kate Plus 8″. They love the show and since TLC was showing a Jon & Kate marathon over Memorial Day, the quirky couple and their eight kids dominated our TV for the better part of the weekend.
I knew the gist of the show before I watched my first episode. It’s a reality show about Jon & Kate Gosselin, their twin girls, and their now five year-old sextuplets – eight kids total. Recently Jon & Kate have been the talk of the tabloids. Jon cheated on Kate with a younger woman (allegedly) and Kate cheated on Jon with her bodyguard (supposedly), throwing the whole fam damily in turmoil.
As you might expect, with eight little kids running around the Gosselins are not your typical family. But after a few episodes, you get the picture that Jon & Kate don’t exactly have a typical relationship, either. He checks out a lot and she lives up to her reputation as a bossy nag. The surprising part is that neither of them tries to hide their shortcomings from the cameras. In fact, they both seem to flaunt their shortcomings — as if each of them is trying to convince the viewers that they are the normal one in the relationship and the other one is a total freak . . . Not a great way to nurture a healthy marriage.
On last night’s episode, both Jon & Kate alluded to the idea that the big “D” might be looming on the Gosselin family horizon. Jon says he wants his old life back while Kate is focused on feeding the “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ corporate machine. They say that they have very quickly become two different people, living two entirely different lives.
And that’s the part I don’t get . . . Whether you have eight kids or one kid, shouldn’t your personal goals & priorities take a back seat to the needs of the people you love? Someone with a higher pay grade than me once said that the greatest love happens when we are willing to lay down our lives (plans/goals/personal interests) for the people we love. For Jon & Kate, that means it’s time to set aside their distractions and start the process of rebuilding their relationship from scratch.
End the show (Kate) . . . stop living in the past (Jon) . . . and remember why the two of you got together in the first place.
I understand that relationships can be complicated and the last thing I want to do is put condemnation on anyone who is experiencing/has experienced a relationship meltdown. God knows it will be a long time before I get a gold star for being a perfect husband/father. But I think Jon & Kate give us all a reason to think about the nature of love and remember the things that are really important in life.
So for the time being, it appears that the Gosselins are preparing to cut and run on the marriage. They both say they love their kids and nothing else matters as long as their kids are healthy, happy and secure. But the truth is that their kids will probably be healthiest, happiest and most secure if Jon & Kate find a way to keep it together. They can’t have it both ways.
Sure, they’re reality TV stars . . . But that doesn’t mean they’re living in reality, does it?